The Intuitive Empath

An Empath is a person who feels and understands the thoughts, emotions, and energy of others. Intuitive Empaths are often:
Claircognizant or clear knowing
Clairsentience- clear feeling; picks up others emotions; feel of a place, people or animals; may have some feeling of how others are doing even at distances
Clairvoyance - sees images in mind; daydreams, uses metaphors, "I see" concepts in mind

Here are some descriptive comments about Intuitive Empaths:
are a constant thinker, and learner
ability to combine feeling and intuition
somehow knows what needs to be done
see a purpose and pattern to life instead of just a string of "coincidences".
are receptive to input from outside of themselves: receptive to spirit, to revelation, insights, ideas, sudden new thoughts; see images in mind; daydream

INFJ from the perspective of the StrengthsFinder

Clifton StrengthsFinder

mine; priorities in my life

Ideation (N)

see patterns & concepts

make connections

form new ideas

need study many subjects

need time to think

partner with an analyzer for balance; apply ideas is real world; practical

need to change environment often

Strategy (INJ)

chart course

see consequences

plan to avoid problems

trust intuition

need time to think out ideas

good at counseling 

Coping with Stress - INFJ and INTJ Compaired

Since I have a family member who is an INTJ, I was wondering how she would be similar in coping with stress with me, an INFJ.  I know we both struggle with becoming overstressed. Since we are both INJ (introverted intuitive) we both prefer to use our dominant (strongest) ability in our minds and use our auxiliary (2nd strongest) ability to deal with the world.  We are the only two Dominant Introverted Intuitive personality types. We both prefer to use intuition in the inner world of the mind to gain insights, see patterns and meaning, and predict future outcomes. Our difference is that she uses Thinking to deal with the world and support her Intuition while I prefer to use Feeling to support my Intuition. It seems that though we would be similar in what stresses us as Intuitives, our Thinking and Feeling difference would make our stressors and coping also quite different.

As Dominant Introverted Intuitives, we must both deal daily with getting access to our strengths. Our challenge is that the level of internal concentration necessary to see intuitively all this meaning, projections, and patterns can only be done when our minds are not being distracted by the outside sensing world.  This isn't easy to do since we live in a Sensing world. Noise, bright lights, busyness, outside pressure, and too much specific data thrown at us too quickly, can frustrate us by preventing us from using our strong Introverted Intuitive strengths. And so, we struggle with living in two worlds. Though we live surrounded by a Sensing world, we can only utilize our considerable Introverted Intuitive ability in the world of the mind.

How Does Your Personality Type Affect Your Children?

After writing about my dad, an ESFP (Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceptive), and my mom, an ISFJ (Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging), I can understand why 40% of my type, INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging), felt that they had an abusive childhood. Since my personality type is the most rare of all types, it would be rarer still to have a parent of the same type as I am. My dad wanted me to to be outgoing like he was. He viewed my quietness and immersion in the world of the mind as unhealthy and kept trying to help me "get out there". He wanted me to be spontaneous and "bubbly" -- like he was.

On the other hand, my mother wanted me to be quiet -- like she was, which was ok because I really am quiet. Like my dad, she also didn't understand my need to spend time in the intuitive world of thought. I loved to observe, think, read, and write. She kept trying to have me "do something" and kept trying to engage me in crafts and activities. She also worried about my "spending so much time alone". I couldn't explain to her that I needed time away from things and people to process all that was happening to me and to recharge after having to deal with all the details of school and being surrounded by people all day.

INFJ Style of Fun

I know that to an SP the word "Fun" INFJ  (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging) don't seem to fit, but we all have fun. We simply enjoy different things. What we enjoy very much relates to our personality.

An SP (Sensing Perceptive) is an action sort of person. They like to experience the world through their senses and without restraints.  From rock climbing to rock concerts, they enjoy the world around them, and the more action, noise, and laser lights the better.

I am a very sensitive INFJ. To me, the action fun of an SP is torture. One I went to a college football game in a large stadium. I sat there turning more and more pale as the SPs stomped and yelled. After several minutes, I fled clutching both my head and my stomach. Once home, I collapsed onto my couch and, immersed in healing silence, I tried to recover.

If the fast movement and vibrating speakers  that excite the SP send me running, the other way, what is "fun" to me?  What does a creative intellectual who also likes accomplishment do for "fun"? Just like everyone else, doing what comes easily for me is "fun".

I like things which give mental challenge; that require me to use my creativity to solve problems. Many board games require a great deal of creative problem solving, especially those where you role play settlers or someone else. Puzzles are  also "fun". Solving mysteries, working out problems, learning something new, going to a new place, reading or watching Fantasy and Science Fiction, writing, pondering the scriptures and ideas, research, learning new things, new cultures, museums, concerts, decorating, and designing are all things which allow me to use my creative intuitive abilities and are "fun".

Needing Each Other

He needs predictability
I need opportunity

He needs order
I need flexibility

He needs routine
I need variety

He needs time to work
I need time to think

He needs a plan
I need follow through

He needs my enthusiasm
I need his calmness

We both need each other

INFJ Stress Basics- Balancing Others and Self

INFJs (introverted intuitive feeling judging) are the rarest personality type. Being only 1% of the population there are some stresses inherent with looking at life so differently from most people. There are also some stresses that just come with being an INFJ.

I am coming to understand that peace in my life is a matter of balance. One area I find challenging as an INFJ is balancing my desire to help others with my need to care for myself.

• Mentoring People:  I don't easily give up on people. If one idea doesn't work, then I'll come up with another. I am an idealist and have great faith in people's potential (NF intuitive feeling). I can see many ways to help people develop their talents and rise to become the person they were meant to be, and I will invest tremendous time and energy into helping them flourish. Only when a person refuses to change; refuses to grow; refuses to learn; only when there is nothing else I can do; will I step away from a relationship. Some people are surprised when I actually walk away, but I will when I see that there is no possibility of having a positive relationship with that person. This isn't just with acquaintances, but even with close family members. I feel like I am saving myself when I see the ship going down, but I always stay close by and available if they decide to change. Since I am so empathic being around negative, critical, crude, and selfish people is like taking poison into my soul. I must get away or my sensitive spirit with wither. Yes, being so empathic and devoting so such time and energy to relationships can be quite stressful, but when I can help a person grow and be happy, it is worth it!

What Makes INFJ and INTJ People Unusual?

Generally, I have the feeling that I am going Up the Down staircase. My comments are frequently met by blank stairs and a sudden awkward pause in the conversation. Conversely, I stare blankly when other women conspirately share where to get the latest outfit or gadget.

Life can be very stressful for me. I find that I must consciously protect myself from a loud bustling world and the constant bombardment of feelings from other people.

To me a perfect day is definitely NOT made by a checked off task list, and lots of bustling around. Instead I long for lots of unstructured time to explore and create new ideas. I enjoy helping people individually to reach their potential through understanding who they are and why they are here. I ponder the purpose of life and enjoy the beauty and serenity of nature. I am the rose in the corn field, the philosopher in a world of doers. I am an INFJ.

Being an INFJ, it is my nature to question why am so different. How I do things seems "normal" to me. What am I doing differently than most people? My daughter, an INTJ, also experiences this sense of "differentness". Why?

Obviously, we are both intuitives. Around 30% of the population prefers to use intuition, impressions and inspiration, to gather information. Intuitives are ever looking for new possibilities, new patterns, new understanding. On the other hand, 70% of the people feel more comfortable with information which comes to them through their senses. Sensors love the tried and true and past experiences are valued, recorded, and applied in daily life.

But why do we often feel "odd" even among intuitives? I looked further and discovered that though less than one third of all people (in the US) are intuitive, we do not all use intuition in the same way.