Multi-generational Narcissism

How does narcissism get passed down in families? It is a pattern of coping that can be perpetuated for generations unless someone breaks the chain. 

Here is how a narcissistic parent trains their child to meet their needs:

• When the child is an infant, before they develop any sense of self, confidence in themselves, or a support network, the undermining begins.
• The child is kept completely dependent on only the narcissistic parent to meet their needs
• The child is never allowed to feel secure since that would empower them
• The child's needs are not recognized, nor met promptly
• The child is constantly reminded that expressing their needs is "selfish" and told that they should be ashamed

How Does Your Personality Type Affect Your Children?

After writing about my dad, an ESFP (Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceptive), and my mom, an ISFJ (Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging), I can understand why 40% of my type, INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging), felt that they had an abusive childhood. Since my personality type is the most rare of all types, it would be rarer still to have a parent of the same type as I am. My dad wanted me to to be outgoing like he was. He viewed my quietness and immersion in the world of the mind as unhealthy and kept trying to help me "get out there". He wanted me to be spontaneous and "bubbly" -- like he was.

On the other hand, my mother wanted me to be quiet -- like she was, which was ok because I really am quiet. Like my dad, she also didn't understand my need to spend time in the intuitive world of thought. I loved to observe, think, read, and write. She kept trying to have me "do something" and kept trying to engage me in crafts and activities. She also worried about my "spending so much time alone". I couldn't explain to her that I needed time away from things and people to process all that was happening to me and to recharge after having to deal with all the details of school and being surrounded by people all day.