I grew up in a family where expressing anger or even any assertiveness was not acceptable, so I learned to suppress my anger and turn it inward which caused a lot of depression. I also used to let people "guilt" me into doing what they wanted which resulted in more anger and resentment toward them, which I also tried to suppress. One thing I felt guilty about was that I was "too sensitive", so I suppressed most of my feelings, including my anger.
Now that I am in my seventies, I more firmly stand up for my principles and my needs. Because, as an INFJ, I want to have a sense of peace and unity with people, I still tend to suppress anger, but not always. When I feel that someone else is being unjustly treated, especially when it is someone who is unable to defend themselves, such as a child or animal, I immediately speak up or take action. This isn't a burst of emotion, but rather a totally confident stand for what is right.
Generally though, I prefer not to have confrontations with other people. I am so empathic that it is very stressful for me engage in face to face disagreements with others. All that emotion is simply overwhelming to me. If I must say something, then I prefer to do it on my own turf by expressing my arguments logically in writing. I've found that more aggressive outgoing people have sometimes tried to intimidate me into accepting their ideas by speaking loudly, standing close, and/or repeating what they want over and over, but wrong is wrong no matter how loudly it is said. This is not how I communicate. I never debate or argue what I know is right. I just "know" it. It is not something determined by the "winner" who speaks the loudest, stands the closest, or can look down on their opponent. "Rightness" is something I just know. It is a part of me and any emotional, physical, or financial pressure can not change what I know is right, therefore I will not express anger, but will instead withdraw from any situation where others are trying to intimidate me into doing what they want.
