Saturday, April 21, 2018

INFJ from the perspective of the StrengthsFinder

mine; priorities in my life

Ideation (N)
see patterns & concepts
make connections
form new ideas
need study many subjects
need time to think
partner with an analyzer for balance; apply ideas is real world; practical
need to change environment often

Strategy (INJ)
chart course
see consequences
plan to avoid problems
trust intuition
need time to think out ideas
good at counseling 

Learner (IN)
enjoy and energized by learning
likes to take courses

Connectiveness (NF)
see big picture
see how all relates
enjoys and good at helping people understand each other and work together well

Relator (F)
deep friendships
relate informally
strengthened by close friends

builds trusting relationships

Feeling - Introverted and Extroverted

Prefer making decisions on what is best for people; values; maintain harmony

Dominate INFP  ISFP
Support ENFP, ESFP

3rd and 4th   INTJ , ISTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ

Want harmony between their actions, thoughts, values - not violate their core values
Notice data which matches their perspective and values
May not verbalize values but act upon
Can “read” people, facial expressions

Authors, philosophers, singers, songwriters, actors

Dominate ENFJ, ESFJ
Support INFJ, ISFJ

3rd and 4th   ENTP, ESTP, INTP, ISTP (thinkers with Feeling function pick up how people are feeling or experiencing them)

Seeks harmony with and between others
Has intrapersonal and cultural values
Have desire to connect (or avoid) others
Friendliness, openness, self-disclosure, polite, friendly, considerate
Try help people be kind to each other
Show emotions on their face
Can detect others desires even if they do not verbalize them
Want to understand others and adjust own behavior to meet expectations
Feel responsible for others feelings and very careful with other’s feelings

Teaching type -  talk show hosts, philanthropists, statesman, activists

Saturday, March 17, 2018


Emotion is the right brain expressing itself - a thought by Cheryl Merrick

Monday, February 19, 2018

How Do Feeling and Thinking Types See Life?

Of course, Feeling and Thinking personality types often have very different perspectives of what is most important in life and, consequently, very different goals.  Though we must use both our Thinking and Feeling abilities to make wise decisions, people naturally prefer to use either Feeling values or Thinking logic to make most of their decisions.

Though it is tempting to simplify our differences and accept all the old stereotypes, Feelers decisions really are not "irrational" and Thinkers really are not "cold and unfeeling".  Both Feeling and Thinking people make decisions rationally based on their values, and both types have strong feelings. Feelers generally do not verbalize their reasoning, and Thinkers generally do not physically express their feelings.

How Can Thinkers and Feelers Communicate?

We've all experienced it with a spouse, acquaintance, or co-worker. There you are intelligent, responsible people meeting to try to provide information, give support, make a plan, or resolve a problem, when everything falls apart. The Feelers are hurt and angry, and may even walk away, leaving the confused Thinkers alone, wondering "What happened?".

What did happen? Is it that the Feelers were "too emotional", or were the Thinkers "too cold and unfeeling"? Actually, neither are wrong in how they approach life. A Feeler focuses on what is most important to people. A Thinker focuses more on logically completing tasks. Both perspectives are complementary and essential in making good decisions. 

We run into trouble when Thinkers and Feelers don't understand each other.  Interpreting the world from their own point of view, they often make incorrect assumptions. Because of this, they misinterpret the others' words and actions,  assuming the worst.  So what are some of the false assumptions that Feelers and Thinkers make when they try to communicate and work together?

What Can Thinkers DO to Better Communicate with Feelers?

You might be saying to yourself that it was nice to better understand how Feelers and Thinkers look at life, and it was even more helpful to have the false communication assumptions explained, but now what can I specifically DO to make communication better with a Feeler. Well, here it is!
Communicating with a Feeler - Do's and Don'ts

The main thing to remember when communicating with Feelers is that they are concerned with what is good for people.

The Ideal
Have a Positive Attitude toward the Feeler - A positive attitude is the basis of effective communication with a Feeler. Feelers "read" emotions. If you are annoyed with them, if you view them as inferior beings, if you don't respect their perspective, or value their goals, a Feeler will know. Your tone of voice and body language will broadcast your true thoughts. A Feeler will react not only to your words, but to the thoughts behind your words. You won't become a Feeler, but by simply making the effort to use a Feeling approach, your attitude will begin to change and your communication will improve. Feelers are very compassionate and will respond well to your efforts, even if they are less than perfect.

What Can Feelers Do to Better Communicate with Thinkers?

We Feelers know that Thinkers need our personal perspective, but how can we communicate with people who are often demeaning, argumentative, aggressive, and arrogant? Many of us have bosses, co-workers, and husbands who are Thinkers. I know at moments it seems impossible, but there are things we can do. Here are my suggestions from my 68 years of living experience and 45 years of being married to a very strong Thinker.  

First, we need to accept them as they are. They aren't going become Feelers anymore than we are going to become Thinkers. We can each move a little to the center, understand each other's motivation, and learn to speak their language - a little.

I'm not saying what we need to tolerate their rudeness, just that we need to accept that they are clueless. We attribute our rich perception of emotion to them and see all sorts of emotions behind their behavior and it simply isn't there. Thinkers don't even understand what we are talking about.