Victim Mentality

People who think of themselves as a victim lack self esteem. They don't have confidence that they are capable to deal with life. They live a fearfully believing that "the world is against them" and that "everyone is out to get them". They see themselves as powerless, and so they passively surrender control over their life to others. They slouch, complain, and blame their way through life completely smothered in self-pity. 

Why would anyone do this? Everything we keep doing, we do for the rewards. Though being a victim may not sound very rewarding, it is very effective at protecting weak self esteem. Think about it. You don't have to take responsibility for anything - just blame it on someone else. No one is going to expect you to do something you might not be able to do. You don't need to fear failure, uncertainty, or rejection. You can remain safe and snug in your comfort zone. There is no risk, so you'll avoid a lot of pain. Of course you won't grow or develop the skills and confidence to deal with life or have any joy, but you are secure. 

How Do I Stop Being a Victim?

It has helped me to understand that the "Victim" way of looking at life isn't reality. It is just a coping method, and it has to be taught. Anything that has been learned can be replaced by new learning. I tell myself that I can learn a new pattern for coping with life.

Think back. Who taught you that life was frightening; something to hide from; something that you had no control over? Who taught you that you were weak and helpless?