Recentering as an INFJ

Once again I was burnt out and unhappy. As an INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging) this happens to me frequently. At these times, I pull back into my mind so I can regain my center; a sense of who I really am. 

As I read and pondered, I was reminded that as an INFJ, I am one of the two personality types (INFP Introverted Intuition Feeling Perceptive is the other) who use intuition and feeling as a way to deal with life.  This really is a different way to live. Like other introverted intuitive types, we spend a lot of time in the world of thought, but combined with Feeling this world becomes extra special. It is the world of imagination, of creativity, and of the spirit. We are roses in the cornfield. We are lights shining in the darkness. 

We are also considered a bit weird, which as an INFJ, I can't deny.

The Good things about being an Enneagram Type 9

Though each Enneagram Type has great strengths, which I appreciate, I like best being me, an Enneagram Type 9. I must confess that it took me a while to accept that I really am a Type 9, The Peacemaker, or The Mediator. I wouldn't consider that I might be this type for several weeks. I think the problem was that I was comparing my weaknesses with others' strengths. Another difficulty was that I was looking at the qualities of a Type 9 from the viewpoint of others, instead of reaching deep within and feeling the "rightness" in my soul of being a Type 9. 

Type 9 Motivation Let's face it, someone who's motivation in life is to create harmony and peace isn't valued as much in our culture (in the United States) as a the "go getter" Type 3 achiever, or a the "take charge" Type 8 leader, or a the "rock of society" Type 6 , or even the "life of the party" Type 7. They all "do" something. Type 2 helps people, Type 1 reforms the world, Type 3 has a drive to achieve, Type 4 creates in the arts, Type 5 studies and invents, Type 6 manages, Type 7 entertains, and Type 8 leads. Actually, I find the other types rather intimidating. They are all so driven and forceful, while I am not. 

Type 9 Peacemakers Type 9 Peacemakers are very gentle people who can patiently work all our lives on our goal to form unity and peace around us. Yes, this is idealistic and optimistic, but think what the world would be like if there were more of us! Yes, we are the "eternal optimists" who not only look for and hope for the good, but devote our lives to making it happen. 

Victim Mentality

People who think of themselves as a victim lack self esteem. They don't have confidence that they are capable to deal with life. They live a fearfully believing that "the world is against them" and that "everyone is out to get them". They see themselves as powerless, and so they passively surrender control over their life to others. They slouch, complain, and blame their way through life completely smothered in self-pity. 

Why would anyone do this? Everything we keep doing, we do for the rewards. Though being a victim may not sound very rewarding, it is very effective at protecting weak self esteem. Think about it. You don't have to take responsibility for anything - just blame it on someone else. No one is going to expect you to do something you might not be able to do. You don't need to fear failure, uncertainty, or rejection. You can remain safe and snug in your comfort zone. There is no risk, so you'll avoid a lot of pain. Of course you won't grow or develop the skills and confidence to deal with life or have any joy, but you are secure. 

How Do I Stop Being a Victim?

It has helped me to understand that the "Victim" way of looking at life isn't reality. It is just a coping method, and it has to be taught. Anything that has been learned can be replaced by new learning. I tell myself that I can learn a new pattern for coping with life.

Think back. Who taught you that life was frightening; something to hide from; something that you had no control over? Who taught you that you were weak and helpless?

Poems Instead of Casseroles - Intuitives in a Busy World

  How does a creative intuitive person (I'm a INFJ) fit into the busy orderly world out there? We don't. We just sort of slip out of the main stream and make our own quiet little eddie. It's a great place. There is time to think, feel, enjoy life, and time to create beauty.

From my quiet spot, I watch others whizzing by. Though appreciating their accomplishments, I have no desire to be a part of this madly rushing main stream. Does this mean I have nothing to do with other people? How does a creative person still be a part of their society?

The Creative Homemaker - Intuitive Feeling People

 Stillness
by Cheryl Merrick

Focusing on the beauty around me
my racing heart 
stills,
and my anxious mind 
calms.

Gazing upward
into the canopy of branches,
peace fills my soul.      
                                          
I have always loved the story of the two sisters, Mary and Martha. When Martha complains to the Lord that Mary isn't helping enough with the housework, the Lord replies that Mary has chosen the better part. I see myself as a Mary.

Since I have no intention of ever becoming  a "busy little homemaker", is my home a mess? It is true that I don't weed, mow, vacuum, shampoo rugs or furniture, polish furniture or silverware, or "deep clean". I spend my day writing and love it. I also have major allergies and must have a dust and mold free home, and I do. My house is very clean and orderly. You may wonder how I can do this. It's really not that hard. I just decided to

ISTJ Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging

ISTJ -  Introverted Sensing with Thinking   Inspector 10%

Relating
role- through check details of workings or group (budget etc.)
direct others; administrator (indirect because of natural reserve)
see others uphold standards and rules
good intentions on insisting on rule compliance
patriarchal

INFJ Dealing with Stress in my Environment

In my post, "Can Personality Cause Stress", I looked at who I am (an introverted, intuitive feeling judging INFJ person) and at what causes me stress. Actually, I was surprised at how many things caused me to feel stressed. Obviously,  I need to learn cope better, so here it goes.

I'll pick the easiest one first -- my environment. As a highly sensitive person (some call us HSP's and most INFJ's are HSP's), I don't do well with noises, whizzing traffic, glaring lights, strong smells, and clutter.

What is a comfortable environment for me?

• First of all, I work from home which gives me a lot of control over my environment.  Since my children were grown, a couple of years ago I decided to re-certify and apply for Elementary Teaching positions. After ten days of substituting, I was exhausted! I thought if one more kid poked me I would scream! I now understood why only college level teaching is recommended for people like me. I am much happier writing! I learned that I need not only to do work that suits my abilities, but that also has an environment in which I feel comfortable.