How an ESFP can help an INTJ with Stress

I know an INTJ who works in a high stress field. I have been wondering how can her husband, an ESFP, help her cope with her stress?

In General:
"ESFPs are essentially easygoing, adaptive, playful, and freedom-loving people who like to live fully in the present moment. In contrast, INTJs are quiet, ambitious, and intellectual people who strive to find, meet, and exceed ever-increasing challenges." 1

With his love of life and his living in the present, the ESFP husband has the ability to balance his intellectual, future living INTJ spouse. By being himself, he can help her enjoy living and help her get in touch with her feelings. He can also provide her with the quiet, orderly environment she needs and handle many of the routine details of life. This will help her be more relaxed since she has little Sensing ability.

Basically INTJs will become stressed, like everyone else, when they are having to use their weakest abilities too much (for them their Feeling and Sensing abilities). Too much time spent in their strongest abilities (for them Intuition and Thinking) can also fatigue the INTJ. Balance is essential for the INTJs well being. Since her weakest areas are an ESFP strengths, her husband can do a lot to help her keep her life in balance. (refer to BASICS at the bottom of the page)

Help with Stress for an INFJ Empath

Basics
Ni (introverted intuition) is my dominant ability and needs to be in charge so I can think, process, solve problems, and maintain my normal balance in life. Since it is an introverted function, I can only use this ability when I am calm and being in a quiet place helps me focus intuitive abilities (Ni). Being alone allows others emotions to dissipate and puts me in touch with who I am and what I am feeling. If I am actively using my Se (Extroverted Sensing) ability, or my Fe (Extroverted Feeling) ability, then I must suppress (not use) my Ni ability and am therefore not in control of my life.

Se (extroverted sensing) allows me to pick up information and deal with the outside world. Fe (extroverted feeling) allows me to absorb the emotions of others. I can only use these my extroverted functions to provide information which my Dominate Intuitive ability uses to direct my thoughts and actions. I can use my introverted Ti and NI abilities together easily to analyze ideas and plan how meet my goals.

General Help

1. Be alone - I need to be alone without sensory input (peace and quiet) to be able to truly access and use my Dominate Intuitive abilities; to think; to write; to recharge; to solve problems, to receive inspiration; to set priorities and goals; to dissipate others emotions through writing; to be in control of my life; to be at peace. Gives rest from over-use of subordinate functions (Se extroverted sensing and Fe extroverted feeling).
   

INFJ Stress Basics- Balancing Others and Self

INFJs (introverted intuitive feeling judging) are the rarest personality type. Being only 1% of the population there are some stresses inherent with looking at life so differently from most people. There are also some stresses that just come with being an INFJ.

I am coming to understand that peace in my life is a matter of balance. One area I find challenging as an INFJ is balancing my desire to help others with my need to care for myself.

• Mentoring People:  I don't easily give up on people. If one idea doesn't work, then I'll come up with another. I am an idealist and have great faith in people's potential (NF intuitive feeling). I can see many ways to help people develop their talents and rise to become the person they were meant to be, and I will invest tremendous time and energy into helping them flourish. Only when a person refuses to change; refuses to grow; refuses to learn; only when there is nothing else I can do; will I step away from a relationship. Some people are surprised when I actually walk away, but I will when I see that there is no possibility of having a positive relationship with that person. This isn't just with acquaintances, but even with close family members. I feel like I am saving myself when I see the ship going down, but I always stay close by and available if they decide to change. Since I am so empathic being around negative, critical, crude, and selfish people is like taking poison into my soul. I must get away or my sensitive spirit with wither. Yes, being so empathic and devoting so such time and energy to relationships can be quite stressful, but when I can help a person grow and be happy, it is worth it!