Since I have a family member who is an INTJ, I was wondering how she would be similar in coping with stress with me, an INFJ. I know we both struggle with becoming overstressed. Since we are both INJ (introverted intuitive) we both prefer to use our dominant (strongest) ability in our minds and use our auxiliary (2nd strongest) ability to deal with the world. We are the only two Dominant Introverted Intuitive personality types. We both prefer to use intuition in the inner world of the mind to gain insights, see patterns and meaning, and predict future outcomes. Our difference is that she uses Thinking to deal with the world and support her Intuition while I prefer to use Feeling to support my Intuition. It seems that though we would be similar in what stresses us as Intuitives, our Thinking and Feeling difference would make our stressors and coping also quite different.
As Dominant Introverted Intuitives, we must both deal daily with getting access to our strengths. Our challenge is that the level of internal concentration necessary to see intuitively all this meaning, projections, and patterns can only be done when our minds are not being distracted by the outside sensing world. This isn't easy to do since we live in a Sensing world. Noise, bright lights, busyness, outside pressure, and too much specific data thrown at us too quickly, can frustrate us by preventing us from using our strong Introverted Intuitive strengths. And so, we struggle with living in two worlds. Though we live surrounded by a Sensing world, we can only utilize our considerable Introverted Intuitive ability in the world of the mind.
Living more in the mind means that we are also both people who struggle with being in the moment and with handling lots of sensory input and sensory details. This is because we both have Extroverted Sensing as our 4th, and weakest, ability. So, not only do we struggle with needing a quiet environment to access our Dominant Introverted Intuitive abilities, we must also cope with being very weak in dealing with the physical world around us. Minimizing the details we must deal with, and sensing the world in a relaxed positive way are essential for both of us to keep from becoming overstressed.
Though this gives us a lot in common, I use Extroverted Feeling to support my Intuition, and she uses Extroverted Thinking to support her Intuition. This makes my INTJ family member very efficient, logical, objective, and fair. Though she prefers not to use Feeling to make decisions, her Feeling ability gives her a strong sense of values, morality, and ethics.
On the other hand, as an INFJ, I prefer to use Extroverted Feeling to make decisions which will build relationships and create harmony. Feeling gives me the ability to feel, understand and emphasize with others. I use my third function, Introverted Thinking, to form a framework of life where I can place data and experiences into logical relationships. When I make a decision based on feeling values, I will check and make sure it is congruent with my logical pattern of life.
With my Feeling function focused outwardly, it gives me an incredible ability to pick up others' feelings and a great desire to help them understand those feelings. On the other hand, my Extroverted Feeling function makes it hard for me to sense my own inner feelings. Being so aware of others' feelings and needs, but not of my own can easily lead me to physical and emotional burn out. I can also become overwhelmed with all the emotional input I receive and need quiet time to access my Introverted Intuitive function so I can make sense of all this information about people, fit it into my logical framework, and determine how to best help them.
On the other hand, my family member uses her outwardly focused Thinking to deal with the world in a logically, ordered manner. Her challenge is that life isn't always orderly and people have lots of confusing emotions. She needs to become more aware of, and deal with, both her own and others' feelings. It is essential for both of us that we express our thoughts and feelings in some way, either by writing them or talking, so that we can become aware of them and allow our Intuitive powers to make sense of them.
Keeping our different abilities in balance is essential for our well being. Not only do we need to spend plenty of time in our mind where we can utilize our Dominant Introverted Intuitive abilities, we must set boundaries so that we do not take on more than we can handle. For me, an INFJ, this means allowing others to take responsibility for their own lives and setting reasonable limits on the number of people I can help. For her, an INTJ, she needs to not take on more work than she can handle, and set reasonable expectations for herself and others. For us to live a more relaxed life, we both need to make the time and effort to become aware of our feelings and needs and meet them in positive ways. This is my goal for the coming year.
Here is a comparison of things an INTJ and an INFJ can do to relieve stress starting with their greatest stressor.
As Dominant Introverted Intuitives, we must both deal daily with getting access to our strengths. Our challenge is that the level of internal concentration necessary to see intuitively all this meaning, projections, and patterns can only be done when our minds are not being distracted by the outside sensing world. This isn't easy to do since we live in a Sensing world. Noise, bright lights, busyness, outside pressure, and too much specific data thrown at us too quickly, can frustrate us by preventing us from using our strong Introverted Intuitive strengths. And so, we struggle with living in two worlds. Though we live surrounded by a Sensing world, we can only utilize our considerable Introverted Intuitive ability in the world of the mind.
Living more in the mind means that we are also both people who struggle with being in the moment and with handling lots of sensory input and sensory details. This is because we both have Extroverted Sensing as our 4th, and weakest, ability. So, not only do we struggle with needing a quiet environment to access our Dominant Introverted Intuitive abilities, we must also cope with being very weak in dealing with the physical world around us. Minimizing the details we must deal with, and sensing the world in a relaxed positive way are essential for both of us to keep from becoming overstressed.
Though this gives us a lot in common, I use Extroverted Feeling to support my Intuition, and she uses Extroverted Thinking to support her Intuition. This makes my INTJ family member very efficient, logical, objective, and fair. Though she prefers not to use Feeling to make decisions, her Feeling ability gives her a strong sense of values, morality, and ethics.
On the other hand, as an INFJ, I prefer to use Extroverted Feeling to make decisions which will build relationships and create harmony. Feeling gives me the ability to feel, understand and emphasize with others. I use my third function, Introverted Thinking, to form a framework of life where I can place data and experiences into logical relationships. When I make a decision based on feeling values, I will check and make sure it is congruent with my logical pattern of life.
With my Feeling function focused outwardly, it gives me an incredible ability to pick up others' feelings and a great desire to help them understand those feelings. On the other hand, my Extroverted Feeling function makes it hard for me to sense my own inner feelings. Being so aware of others' feelings and needs, but not of my own can easily lead me to physical and emotional burn out. I can also become overwhelmed with all the emotional input I receive and need quiet time to access my Introverted Intuitive function so I can make sense of all this information about people, fit it into my logical framework, and determine how to best help them.
On the other hand, my family member uses her outwardly focused Thinking to deal with the world in a logically, ordered manner. Her challenge is that life isn't always orderly and people have lots of confusing emotions. She needs to become more aware of, and deal with, both her own and others' feelings. It is essential for both of us that we express our thoughts and feelings in some way, either by writing them or talking, so that we can become aware of them and allow our Intuitive powers to make sense of them.
Keeping our different abilities in balance is essential for our well being. Not only do we need to spend plenty of time in our mind where we can utilize our Dominant Introverted Intuitive abilities, we must set boundaries so that we do not take on more than we can handle. For me, an INFJ, this means allowing others to take responsibility for their own lives and setting reasonable limits on the number of people I can help. For her, an INTJ, she needs to not take on more work than she can handle, and set reasonable expectations for herself and others. For us to live a more relaxed life, we both need to make the time and effort to become aware of our feelings and needs and meet them in positive ways. This is my goal for the coming year.
Here is a comparison of things an INTJ and an INFJ can do to relieve stress starting with their greatest stressor.
Number 1
INFJ - Reduce Sensory Stimulation - tranquil, beauty, quiet, still, nature
INTJ - Get Some Alone Time INTJs rely very strongly on their Introverted Intuition to be in a healthy state. In order to adequately access Ni (Introverted Intuition), the INTJ needs some solitary time process their thoughts without distractions or interruptions. This can help the INTJ to effectively access their dominant function, reduce their focus on sensing, and find balance again.
Number 2
INFJ - Get Some Time Alone - far away from people; no Feeling input
INTJ - Reduce Sensory Stimulation
dark, quiet, lie down
Number 3
INFJ - Say "No" To Non- Essential Responsibilities - don't take on others responsibilities; set boundaries to care for myself
Number 3
INFJ - Say "No" To Non- Essential Responsibilities - don't take on others responsibilities; set boundaries to care for myself
INTJ - After some time alone, find a good friend who can simply listen
Sometimes, talking through the problem out loud can help the INTJ to put together and realize a logical solution to their problem. This is because when the INTJ speaks out loud, they can process their thoughts through Extroverted Thinking, their auxiliary function.
Number 4
INFJ - Spend Time in Nature - INFJs find peace in Nature
Number 4
INFJ - Spend Time in Nature - INFJs find peace in Nature
INTJ - Just Say "No" To Non-Essential Responsibilities
lightening their workload , especially social commitments, helps them instantly reduce stress
Number 5
INFJ - Exercise - Helps to release Feeling input before I become overwhelmed
INTJ - Sleep
INTJs have very active minds and are extremely goal-oriented. They sometimes struggle with taking care of themselves because they are so focused on accomplishing their goals, or their mind is so busy looking into the future or solving problems. They need to relax in the evenings and start winding down so they can sleep at night. Getting sleep is a great way for them to find balance, return to normal, and get a fresh perspective.
Number 6
INFJ - Journal - helps me become aware of how I am feeling and my needs
INTJ - Get Outdoors
be alone in nature; This calm focus on sensory detail can help them to manage their inferior function, and being alone can help them to more readily access their Intuition and find much-needed relief from stress.
Number 7
INFJ - Get Less Serious - humor, funny side of things, positive emotions, graditude
Number 7
INFJ - Get Less Serious - humor, funny side of things, positive emotions, graditude
INTJ - Exercise Alone
chance to get alone and away from interruptions and noise and find balance in their mind.
Number 8
INFJ - Avoid Advice Givers - will overwhelm me with emotional input; When I am not stressed, I will have the whole picture and know what I need to do.
Number 8
INFJ - Avoid Advice Givers - will overwhelm me with emotional input; When I am not stressed, I will have the whole picture and know what I need to do.
INTJ- Try to Solve One Minor Problem
If they can distract themselves from the main problem, their most major focus, and switch their focus to a smaller problem, they can often find relief. (do a puzzle etc) The process of fixing a minor problem can help them to access their Extroverted Thinking in a way that is low-pressure.
Number 9
INFJ - Find a Healthy Sensory Hobby - Some garden, cook, build, etc. I prefer to hike and dance. Enjoying nature and music refreshes my soul.
INTJ - Watch a Movie
distracts; can also help them to access their tertiary Introverted Feeling. Watching a movie can help the INTJ to process their feelings, experience unobtrusive sensory stimulation, and regain balance of their cognitive functions.
Number 10
INFJ - Seek Counseling - Many counselors are INFJ's. This is our element. Speaking with a person who truly understands our thoughts and feelings can bring peace.
INTJ - Read a Book
can help the INTJ to access their rich Intuition and their tertiary Feeling functions
Number 11
INFJ - Vent - only to the point that it is productive, not endless rehashing
INTJ - Play Music
can help the INTJ to use their Sensing in a healthy, positive way. It can also help the INTJ to access their Introverted Feeling, as music often invokes a sense of emotional escape or relief.
Number 12
INFJ - Do Some Light Problem Solving - I like to organize my house. I'm not dealing with people, just things, and I'm in control of them.
Number 12
INFJ - Do Some Light Problem Solving - I like to organize my house. I'm not dealing with people, just things, and I'm in control of them.
INTJ - Reduce Sugar and Caffeine Use
Ni-dominant types find it very important to keep their bodies calm and focused so they can adequately access their Introverted intuition
INFJ
Though we have a lot in common, we both experience stress in different ways. As an INFJ, I am constantly taking in huge amounts of input from the people and the environment around me. When I am in a beautiful, quiet environment, such as in nature, I will respond to that environment and become balanced and at peace. I struggle with setting boundaries, so that I don't take on others' responsibilities, and with getting rid of all the emotions I pick up from others. I can easily exhaust myself doing lots of Sensing things to help others and never find time to use my own strong Intuitive abilities. I then become just a mannequin doing others' bidding. Of course, it doesn't take long before I become exhausted. Being so aware of others' needs and feelings, it is very difficult making decisions of when to help others and when to care for myself. Making time each day to be alone in my Intuitive mind, processing all the data I take in, creating ideas, and evaluating needs and feelings, helps keep me in charge of my own life.
Another thing which helps me is Journaling. It helps me sort out feelings and get in touch again with my own feelings and needs. (Venting can help, but isn't as calming as Journaling.) Also exercise, such as hiking and dancing releases the tensions and emotions and replaces them with beauty and peace. In the evening I wind down by relaxing, soaking in a hot tub, and then watching a light movie. Funny and/or musical videos help me feel upbeat and sleep better, as does taking time to read the scriptures each day and nourish my relationship with God. I can take in so much pain from others that I need positive things to feed my soul and keep me in balance.
INTJ
My INTJ family member also needs quiet time without interruptions to access and use her considerable Intuitive abilities. Being exceptionally innovative, efficient, and goal oriented, she does not generally have trouble using her considerable Intuitive ability, but her challenge is to set boundaries to her work, so that it does not become her life.
She needs balance by making time to relate with people, relax, unwind, and get in touch with her own feelings. Having a close friend who will just listen to her can help her become aware of her own feelings as she verbalizes them. Reading books, watching videos, dancing, listening to or playing music, viewing art, and being with a small child (for short periods of time) can help an INTJ get in touch with her Feeling abilities.
If she tries to suppress her Feeling side, she will struggle with her relationships both at home and at work and waste a lot of time trying to deal with escalating emotional situations. Nurturing her abilities to feel emotion will help her be more balanced. This will enable her to see the whole picture and set more realistic limits on her work load. She will then not only be able to see that her own needs are met before she becomes exhausted, but will be aware of the needs of those closest to her and with those with whom she works. Keeping all her abilities in balance will enable her to optimize her life and have a fulfilling lifestyle.
Though we both need a quiet environment to access our Intuitive abilities, as an INFJ, I need to process, analyze, and release all the emotion I pick up from others before I become overwhelmed and neglect my own needs. On the other hand, she, as an INTJ, needs to do enjoyable Feeling activities to help her get in touch with her own emotional side, so she can deal with life with balance and thereby keep from over stressing herself.
INFJ
Though we have a lot in common, we both experience stress in different ways. As an INFJ, I am constantly taking in huge amounts of input from the people and the environment around me. When I am in a beautiful, quiet environment, such as in nature, I will respond to that environment and become balanced and at peace. I struggle with setting boundaries, so that I don't take on others' responsibilities, and with getting rid of all the emotions I pick up from others. I can easily exhaust myself doing lots of Sensing things to help others and never find time to use my own strong Intuitive abilities. I then become just a mannequin doing others' bidding. Of course, it doesn't take long before I become exhausted. Being so aware of others' needs and feelings, it is very difficult making decisions of when to help others and when to care for myself. Making time each day to be alone in my Intuitive mind, processing all the data I take in, creating ideas, and evaluating needs and feelings, helps keep me in charge of my own life.
Another thing which helps me is Journaling. It helps me sort out feelings and get in touch again with my own feelings and needs. (Venting can help, but isn't as calming as Journaling.) Also exercise, such as hiking and dancing releases the tensions and emotions and replaces them with beauty and peace. In the evening I wind down by relaxing, soaking in a hot tub, and then watching a light movie. Funny and/or musical videos help me feel upbeat and sleep better, as does taking time to read the scriptures each day and nourish my relationship with God. I can take in so much pain from others that I need positive things to feed my soul and keep me in balance.
INTJ
My INTJ family member also needs quiet time without interruptions to access and use her considerable Intuitive abilities. Being exceptionally innovative, efficient, and goal oriented, she does not generally have trouble using her considerable Intuitive ability, but her challenge is to set boundaries to her work, so that it does not become her life.
She needs balance by making time to relate with people, relax, unwind, and get in touch with her own feelings. Having a close friend who will just listen to her can help her become aware of her own feelings as she verbalizes them. Reading books, watching videos, dancing, listening to or playing music, viewing art, and being with a small child (for short periods of time) can help an INTJ get in touch with her Feeling abilities.
If she tries to suppress her Feeling side, she will struggle with her relationships both at home and at work and waste a lot of time trying to deal with escalating emotional situations. Nurturing her abilities to feel emotion will help her be more balanced. This will enable her to see the whole picture and set more realistic limits on her work load. She will then not only be able to see that her own needs are met before she becomes exhausted, but will be aware of the needs of those closest to her and with those with whom she works. Keeping all her abilities in balance will enable her to optimize her life and have a fulfilling lifestyle.
Though we both need a quiet environment to access our Intuitive abilities, as an INFJ, I need to process, analyze, and release all the emotion I pick up from others before I become overwhelmed and neglect my own needs. On the other hand, she, as an INTJ, needs to do enjoyable Feeling activities to help her get in touch with her own emotional side, so she can deal with life with balance and thereby keep from over stressing herself.
see
Storm, Susan (2016-12-17). Tranquility by Type: Stress Relief Tips for Your Unique Personality Type (Kindle Locations 967-968). Psychology Junkie. Kindle Edition.
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