Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Causes of Stress for an INFJ Empath

INFJ’s desire to help people by listening, counseling and giving emotional
support. As an INFJ empath, I struggle with chronic stress. After looking
at my life from a Personality Type perspective, it seems that most stress
comes when I do not use my strengths, but, instead, try to live as a sensing
person (Se) always busily engaged with the world, and an extroverted
feeling person (Fe) always interacting with people. This is my attempt to
change; to be me, to be more at peace, less stressed, and happier.
Suggestions for change are in blue.

INFJ - (Ni ) Introverted Intuition is Dominant ability
(Fe) 2nd, or auxiliary ability, is Extroverted Feeling
(Ti ) 3rd ability is Introverted Thinking
(Se) 4th, or weakest ability, is Extroverted Sensing


Causes of Stress for an INFJ Empath

1. Excess Sensory Stimulation - can feel overwhelmed; to use dominate Ni must be an quiet meditative state; loud noises, bright lights, clutter, fast movement; jiggling, roughness, spicy, strong perfume, or other strong smells or tastes; avoid and minimize; quiet sanctuary; nature;

2. Too Many Details and Pressure- can feel overwhelmed; pressure to handle too many things too quickly (deadlines), busyness, clutter; too much Se (4th ability); need to explore one topic at time deeply; focus on one thing at a time; simple home and simple routines;

3. Interruptions - will break the dominant Ni concentration; have a sanctuary in my home; not give out phone number; set boundaries 

4. Too Much Extraverting - can be overwhelming and draining: INFJ's are relationship oriented; like to form deep relationships with a few people; only use Fe (2nd, auxiliary) for support to Ni function, Fe enables to empathize, feel, and listen to others but is not my main source of energy; if use for a long time, it will drain me; majority of time on Ni 3 times as long; limit social; limit only to the most important social interactions



5. Lack of Appreciation - can feel resentful and depressed; perfectionists (idealists) often set unattainable high standards for self; can lose esteem if not appreciated and feel taken advantage of or used, rejecting my ideas, creativity; look within self for self esteem and sense of accomplishment;

6. Unfamiliar Environments with Overwhelming Details - can feel stressed, confused; situations when must perform quickly using new details such as driving in new city; avoid or minimize; plan around so do not have to do; let husband handle or someone else

7. Disrupted Plans - can feel disoriented, upset, confused; INFJ's are goal oriented and future focused; bothered when plans are cancelled that relate to their goals and visions; expect from some people to change plans and have alternative plan; lead in planning activities; do something fun as alternate if plans change; exercise to relieve tension

8. Criticism or Lack of Harmony - can feel attacked and distressed; INFJ's feel stifled until conflict is resolved; can't move on; expected to be traditional instead of creative and futuristic (Intuitive); analyze situation, discuss, communicate, only relate with people that are positive and with whom I can have harmony; structure situations for harmony 


9. Focusing Too Much on Present Moment - can feel anxious, agitated, frustrated, bored, and tense; using Se (4th) too much, focusing on “right now” majority of the time is very stressful, because to do so INFJ's must block Ni (their dominant strength) to be able to do it. This blocking will stifle future ideas, possibilities, and creativity; daily majority of time Ni, study, think, write, poems, 

10. Conflicting Needs - can feel guilty, overwhelmed, confused; situations where there are several people who need different things from me and or their needs conflict with my needs such as wanting me to extravert feeling (Fe being social) than I am able to give or feel comfortable with doing; use Ti and Ni to analyze; write out; what are the needs involved; which needs are most important at that time; what will be the consequences of meeting each need; then make decision 

11. Negative People - can feel drained, exhausted, upset, guilty, angry resentful; angry attacks can cause to withdraw; lack of understanding, judging people; Notice: how they try to dump their responsibility on me and dump their emotions on me (try to use guilt to manipulate me); do not accept their responsibility; do not be open with them; keep distance from them; avoid them, end relationship, or minimize contact with them if it is not possible to end the relationship; 


12. Negative Places, Events, Things, News, Music, Books, Videos - can feel disturbed, upset, agitated, shaky, sick (violence, cruelty, meanness, crudeness; unjustness); must avoid; preview books etc; not sad or depressing - only positive and upbeat; avoid historical places where was violence i.e. battlegrounds, and graveyards; avoid funerals; do not buy used clothing or things 

13. Expected to Not Act According to My Beliefs - can become extremely upset, disorientated, and lose my sense of identity; can not function; Calmly and firmly state beliefs; See if can be worked out (ie drink orange juice instead of alcohol); Quit or leave if necessary, but stand firm; If I give up who I am (an idealist) then I am nothing.


see - Storm, Susan (2016-12-17). Tranquility by Type: Stress Relief Tips for Your Unique Personality Type (Kindle Locations 295-296). Psychology Junkie. Kindle Edition.

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