How Do Feeling and Thinking Types See Life?

Of course, Feeling and Thinking personality types often have very different perspectives of what is most important in life and, consequently, very different goals.  Though we must use both our Thinking and Feeling abilities to make wise decisions, people naturally prefer to use either Feeling values or Thinking logic to make most of their decisions.

Though it is tempting to simplify our differences and accept all the old stereotypes, Feelers decisions really are not "irrational" and Thinkers really are not "cold and unfeeling".  Both Feeling and Thinking people make decisions rationally based on their values, and both types have strong feelings. Feelers generally do not verbalize their reasoning, and Thinkers generally do not physically express their feelings.


Thinkers place greater value on impersonal logic, and objective analysis; therefore their focus generally is on accomplishing a specific task instead of on people.  Thinkers' objective focus also inclines them toward technical and scientific interests where they can apply their natural skill at logical problem solving. Not trusting their underdeveloped Feeling to make decisions, Thinkers instead use their logical Thinking strengths to evaluate plans and determine which will achieve their goals. They seek to eliminate personal bias from decision making so that their decisions will be based on truth instead of on what people just want to happen. After analyzing the data, Thinkers can then calmly and decisively determine a logical course of action.

On the other hand, Feelers place the greatest value on what they feel is right and good, on what is best for people, on what is worthwhile, on relationships and harmony. They have a big picture approach to life where tasks exist only to serve human needs.  Also, their human values naturally incline them toward communication. Preferring to avoid their underdeveloped Thinking abilities and instead using their considerable Feeling abilities, Feelers evaluate plans personally on the basis of their importance to people. When they have a Feeling confirmation of the rightness of the action, they can proceed.

We all need each other. Though we generally use either Feeling or Thinking to make our decisions, and then use our weaker preference to check our decisions, it cannot compare with counseling with a person who truly is of the opposite type.

Thinkers and Feelers can complement and balance each other.  Most importantly, they can keep the other from making serious mistakes in judgement.  Sometimes, Thinkers can become so focused on accomplishing their task that they make poor decisions and cause disharmony because they are not considering the short and long term human effect of their plans. Because of their focus on people, Feelers may miss, ignore, or have difficultly dealing with details that don't fit their ideal and make people happy.  They may focus on the momentary good of just one person and not consider the long term needs of the larger group of people. A strong Feeler and a competent Thinker each each bring valuable perspectives and abilities to the planning table and by supplying both sides of the picture, enable wiser decisions to be made and goals to be achieved.

Like the blind men examining the elephant, Feelers and Thinkers need each other to help them truly see. Feelers need Thinkers to have an emotional distance from the situation, to apply impersonal logic to solving problems, to see the cause and effect between actions and events,  to analyze pros and cons, to discover the basic truths and principles, to look at things with a critical eye, to notice inconsistencies, to provide logical explanations, to reform, to analyze and organize, to be concerned with truth, principles, standards, laws, and justice and hold one standard for all, to make fair decisions, to be firm, to critique, to allocate resources, to discipline or fire when necessary, to provide consistent policy, to set criteria and categories, to be realistic, to stand up for truth against opposition, to debate issues, to be good at using argumentation or winning people over with logic, and for their task-oriented drive to achieve and accomplish things.

Thinkers need Feelers to be personal, to consider the affects of actions on the people involved, to value harmony, empathy, and mercy, to see the exception to the rule or the extenuating circumstances, for ethics and morality, to know how people feel, to communicate, to evaluate what is most important to people, to be subjective, to choose between good and bad, to see the personal impact of decisions on people, to defend social values, to view situations from a human perspective, to please others, to show appreciation, to be friendly, to establish close relationships, to be devoted, to be both tactful and truthful, to use persuasion to win people over, to be idealistic, to arouse enthusiasm, to persuade, sell, advertise, and teach, to care for the young, old, and ill, to predict how people will feel, to notice when harmony is missing and to reconcile differences, to promote and maintain harmonious relationships, to be compassionate, to give service, to express sympathy and concern, to be caring and warm, and to appreciate the Thinker.

Neither decision making process is better than the other. Decisions based mainly on Feeling values may not be able to be implemented without the realistic analysis Thinking can provide. Decisions using primarily Thinking logic may miss achieving the more important larger goal of meeting human needs. Only through using both Feeling and Thinking can truly wise and effective decisions be made.


Basic books I recommend are: 
Myers, Isabel  Briggs; Myers, Peter B. (2010-12-15). Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type  Nicholas Brealey Publishing.

Tieger, Paul D.; Barbara Barron; Kelly Tieger (2014-04-15). Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type  Little, Brown and Company.

Keirsey, David (1998-05-01). Please Understand Me I and II Prometheus Nemesis Book Company.