Introverts' Socializing Styles

I know of introverts who dress all in black, some even with punky hair.  The message is clear -- keep your distance! They are letting the world know that they don't want interaction. With other kindred spirits, they live cocooned in a world of creativity rich in music, art, and fantasy. But that's not me.

I know of other introverts who quietly and steadily do their job. They live contentedly taking pride in their tremendous ability to manage details and in their immense capacity for concentration. They prefer to work alone and they accomplish much. Sometimes they enjoy being around people, and listening to others talk, but generally you will find them in a quiet corner talking details with another person like themselves. The don't need much interaction. If communication is required, they prefer that it be written. When necessary they will frugally measure out a few spoken words. My husband (ISTJ) is like this, but I'm not.

I know of some introverts who spend their lives quietly serving people. These (ISFJ and ISFP) practical people oriented introverts gravitate to occupations where they can quietly interact one on one in fields such as health care, child care, management, and homemaking. They concentrate their energies on doing things for people. Quickly tiring of relating, they retreat into action. "There is always something that needs doing!" is their motto.  That's not me either.

An Intuitive's Experience in a Sensing World

I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in California, went to Brigham Young University, got married, and had two small before I confronted "Mormon Culture". We had moved to a small bedroom community  and were enjoying have a home of our own. Then it began.  "How many quarts of peaches did you can?" I had made a brief foray into the world of canning, then after spending two days cleaning up my kitchen afterwards and ending up with only 30 cents worth of apple juice, I decided it wasn't for me. I was given sympathy for being too ill to do it and wishes for better health.

I felt intimidated when saw all the mothers busily running errands, cooking good dinners, baking cookies for school, gardening, and cleaning. Trying to fill a role I felt was expected of me, I tried doing these things only to conclude that I don't like that sort of life. I had loved being in college; attending lectures, studying, and writing papers. I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because I believed the principles were true, but what was all this? I hadn't signed on for this busy Mormon homemaker life. Yes, my health prevented me from this "busy" life, but I couldn't admit to others that I really didn't want to live as they did. I felt both shame and relief.

Poems Instead of Casseroles - Intuitives in a Busy World

  How does a creative intuitive person (I'm a INFJ) fit into the busy orderly world out there? We don't. We just sort of slip out of the main stream and make our own quiet little eddie. It's a great place. There is time to think, feel, enjoy life, and time to create beauty.

From my quiet spot, I watch others whizzing by. Though appreciating their accomplishments, I have no desire to be a part of this madly rushing main stream. Does this mean I have nothing to do with other people? How does a creative person still be a part of their society?

The Creative Homemaker - Intuitive Feeling People

 Stillness
by Cheryl Merrick

Focusing on the beauty around me
my racing heart 
stills,
and my anxious mind 
calms.

Gazing upward
into the canopy of branches,
peace fills my soul.      
                                          
I have always loved the story of the two sisters, Mary and Martha. When Martha complains to the Lord that Mary isn't helping enough with the housework, the Lord replies that Mary has chosen the better part. I see myself as a Mary.

Since I have no intention of ever becoming  a "busy little homemaker", is my home a mess? It is true that I don't weed, mow, vacuum, shampoo rugs or furniture, polish furniture or silverware, or "deep clean". I spend my day writing and love it. I also have major allergies and must have a dust and mold free home, and I do. My house is very clean and orderly. You may wonder how I can do this. It's really not that hard. I just decided to

A Creative Intutive Feeling Person "Fitting In"

“For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” (Bible, Old Testament - 1 Samuel 16:7)  This poster has a lot of meaning for me.

Yes, I really think there is a higher percentage of traditional people (SJ's) in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, than out of the Church. There are probably more orderly people in most religions and organizations since they are the people who set up and maintain society on the whole. The fact is that about forty-five percent of the American population are these diligent souls. As much as creative people (intutive and many perceiving people ) complain about their inflexibility, we need them.  Orderly people are the bulwark of society, but where do we fit in?

A Rose in the Vegetable Garden - An INFJ in the World

by Cheryl Merrick

I feel a little strange
     out here among
     the cabbages and squash,
then I remember
     that The Gardener
     who planted them
     also planted me.

Happily Married for 43 Years - INFJ and ISTJ

I have been thinking about this talk on the Renaissance of Marriage by President Eyring about how to make a happy marriage. I love this humourous video, Lasting Marriage,  on having a long happy marriage.I means a lot to me because my husband and I are very different.

My husband is a person who is always engaged doing something, such as his handyman business. He deals with the real world and likes to follow patterns that have worked well in the past. He does things with exactness. He is a quiet thoughtful person and so am I. The big difference is that my thoughts are racing at top speed. I leap from thought to thought. I love to study and think about ideas. I like to see patterns in behavior and help people reach their potential (I'm a natural teacher). I live mainly in the world of thought and future possibilities. So how have a hands-on builder and a head-in-the-clouds philosopher been happily married for 43 years?