Personality Type and Gender

After having raised an ISFP (Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceptive) girl, an ESTP (Extroverted Sensing Thinking Perceptive) boy, an INTJ (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging ) girl, an INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceptive) boy, and after being an INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging) married to an ISTJ (Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging) husband, I have some questions about personality and gender.

I've seen my NTJ girl struggle with being expected to be submissive and more "feminine". Her clear thinking decisiveness was not well accepted, though it would be valued in a male. I've also seen my NF son being told "to toughen up".  His gentleness and sensitiveness are viewed as "feminine" and would have been valued more if he had been a girl.

True, 3/4th of all females are Feeling and 3/4th of all males are Thinking, but that does not make these characteristics either male or female.  If you are a Feeling person, that does not make you female, and if you are a thinking person, that does not make you male. If you are a SP (Sensing Perceptive) girl who loves sports and is out to win, that doesn't make you a boy. If you are an intuitive boy who likes to think and read, that does not make you a girl.