HSP - Highly Sensitive People, INFJ (Introvered Intuitive Feeling Judging)
Storm, Susan. Tranquility by Type: Stress Relief Tips for Your Unique Personality Type
Everest, Kristine S.. Survival Guide For Empaths: How To Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs, A Plan For The Highly Sensitive, Coping With Distress, Empath Healing Made Easy For Beginners . KSE Publishing.
Orloff, Judith. The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People . Sounds True.
Soldner, Jennifer. The INFJ Heart: Understand the Mind, Unlock the Heart.
Soldner, Jennifer. The Empathic INFJ: Awareness and Understanding for the Intuitive Clairsentient
Aron, Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Person . Kensington. Kindle Edition.
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
Help with Stress for an INFJ Empath
Basics
Ni (introverted intuition) is my dominant ability and needs to be in charge so I can think, process, solve problems, and maintain my normal balance in life. Since it is an introverted function, I can only use this ability when I am calm and being in a quiet place helps me focus intuitive abilities (Ni). Being alone allows others emotions to dissipate and puts me in touch with who I am and what I am feeling. If I am actively using my Se (Extroverted Sensing) ability, or my Fe (Extroverted Feeling) ability, then I must suppress (not use) my Ni ability and am therefore not in control of my life.
Se (extroverted sensing) allows me to pick up information and deal with the outside world. Fe (extroverted feeling) allows me to absorb the emotions of others. I can only use these my extroverted functions to provide information which my Dominate Intuitive ability uses to direct my thoughts and actions. I can use my introverted Ti and NI abilities together easily to analyze ideas and plan how meet my goals.
General Help
Ni (introverted intuition) is my dominant ability and needs to be in charge so I can think, process, solve problems, and maintain my normal balance in life. Since it is an introverted function, I can only use this ability when I am calm and being in a quiet place helps me focus intuitive abilities (Ni). Being alone allows others emotions to dissipate and puts me in touch with who I am and what I am feeling. If I am actively using my Se (Extroverted Sensing) ability, or my Fe (Extroverted Feeling) ability, then I must suppress (not use) my Ni ability and am therefore not in control of my life.
Se (extroverted sensing) allows me to pick up information and deal with the outside world. Fe (extroverted feeling) allows me to absorb the emotions of others. I can only use these my extroverted functions to provide information which my Dominate Intuitive ability uses to direct my thoughts and actions. I can use my introverted Ti and NI abilities together easily to analyze ideas and plan how meet my goals.
General Help
- Be alone - I need to be alone without sensory input (peace and quiet) to be able to truly access and use my Dominate Intuitive abilities; to think; to write; to recharge; to solve problems, to receive inspiration; to set priorities and goals; to dissipate others emotions through writing; to be in control of my life; to be at peace. Gives rest from over-use of subordinate functions (Se extroverted sensing and Fe extroverted feeling).
Causes of Stress for an INFJ Empath
INFJ’s desire to help people by listening, counseling and giving emotional
support. As an INFJ empath, I struggle with chronic stress. After looking
at my life from a Personality Type perspective, it seems that most stress
comes when I do not use my strengths, but, instead, try to live as a sensing
person (Se) always busily engaged with the world, and an extroverted
feeling person (Fe) always interacting with people. This is my attempt to
change; to be me, to be more at peace, less stressed, and happier.
Suggestions for change are in blue.
INFJ - (Ni ) Introverted Intuition is Dominant ability
(Fe) 2nd, or auxiliary ability, is Extroverted Feeling
(Ti ) 3rd ability is Introverted Thinking
(Se) 4th, or weakest ability, is Extroverted Sensing
support. As an INFJ empath, I struggle with chronic stress. After looking
at my life from a Personality Type perspective, it seems that most stress
comes when I do not use my strengths, but, instead, try to live as a sensing
person (Se) always busily engaged with the world, and an extroverted
feeling person (Fe) always interacting with people. This is my attempt to
change; to be me, to be more at peace, less stressed, and happier.
Suggestions for change are in blue.
INFJ - (Ni ) Introverted Intuition is Dominant ability
(Fe) 2nd, or auxiliary ability, is Extroverted Feeling
(Ti ) 3rd ability is Introverted Thinking
(Se) 4th, or weakest ability, is Extroverted Sensing
Causes of Stress for an INFJ Empath
1. Excess Sensory Stimulation - can feel overwhelmed; to use dominate Ni must be an quiet meditative state; loud noises, bright lights, clutter, fast movement; jiggling, roughness, spicy, strong perfume, or other strong smells or tastes; avoid and minimize; quiet sanctuary; nature;
2. Too Many Details and Pressure- can feel overwhelmed; pressure to handle too many things too quickly (deadlines), busyness, clutter; too much Se (4th ability); need to explore one topic at time deeply; focus on one thing at a time; simple home and simple routines;
3. Interruptions - will break the dominant Ni concentration; have a sanctuary in my home; not give out phone number; set boundaries
4. Too Much Extraverting - can be overwhelming and draining: INFJ's are relationship oriented; like to form deep relationships with a few people; only use Fe (2nd, auxiliary) for support to Ni function, Fe enables to empathize, feel, and listen to others but is not my main source of energy; if use for a long time, it will drain me; majority of time on Ni 3 times as long; limit social; limit only to the most important social interactions
Thursday, October 26, 2017
Personality Type and Gender
After having raised an ISFP (Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceptive) girl, an ESTP (Extroverted Sensing Thinking Perceptive) boy, an INTJ (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging ) girl, an INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceptive) boy, and after being an INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging) married to an ISTJ (Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging) husband, I have some questions about personality and gender.
I've seen my NTJ girl struggle with being expected to be submissive and more "feminine". Her clear thinking decisiveness was not well accepted, though it would be valued in a male. I've also seen my NF son being told "to toughen up". His gentleness and sensitiveness are viewed as "feminine" and would have been valued more if he had been a girl.
True, 3/4th of all females are Feeling and 3/4th of all males are Thinking, but that does not make these characteristics either male or female. If you are a Feeling person, that does not make you female, and if you are a thinking person, that does not make you male. If you are a SP (Sensing Perceptive) girl who loves sports and is out to win, that doesn't make you a boy. If you are an intuitive boy who likes to think and read, that does not make you a girl.
I've seen my NTJ girl struggle with being expected to be submissive and more "feminine". Her clear thinking decisiveness was not well accepted, though it would be valued in a male. I've also seen my NF son being told "to toughen up". His gentleness and sensitiveness are viewed as "feminine" and would have been valued more if he had been a girl.
True, 3/4th of all females are Feeling and 3/4th of all males are Thinking, but that does not make these characteristics either male or female. If you are a Feeling person, that does not make you female, and if you are a thinking person, that does not make you male. If you are a SP (Sensing Perceptive) girl who loves sports and is out to win, that doesn't make you a boy. If you are an intuitive boy who likes to think and read, that does not make you a girl.
How Does Your Personality Type Affect Your Children?
After writing about my dad, an ESFP (Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceptive), and my mom, an ISFJ (Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging), I can understand why 40% of my type, INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging), felt that they had an abusive childhood. Since my personality type is the most rare of all types, it would be rarer still to have a parent of the same type as I am. My dad wanted me to to be outgoing like he was. He viewed my quietness and immersion in the world of the mind as unhealthy and kept trying to help me "get out there". He wanted me to be spontaneous and "bubbly" -- like he was.
On the other hand, my mother wanted me to be quiet -- like she was, which was ok because I really am quiet. Like my dad, she also didn't understand my need to spend time in the intuitive world of thought. I loved to observe, think, read, and write. She kept trying to have me "do something" and kept trying to engage me in crafts and activities. She also worried about my "spending so much time alone". I couldn't explain to her that I needed time away from things and people to process all that was happening to me and to recharge after having to deal with all the details of school and being surrounded by people all day.
On the other hand, my mother wanted me to be quiet -- like she was, which was ok because I really am quiet. Like my dad, she also didn't understand my need to spend time in the intuitive world of thought. I loved to observe, think, read, and write. She kept trying to have me "do something" and kept trying to engage me in crafts and activities. She also worried about my "spending so much time alone". I couldn't explain to her that I needed time away from things and people to process all that was happening to me and to recharge after having to deal with all the details of school and being surrounded by people all day.
Are Only SJ's True Homemakers?
"You can eat off my floor!", was obviously coined by the SJ (Sensing Judging) housewife. I don't know about you, but I've never had any desire to eat off of anyone's floor. Floors are for walking on - not eating. The SJ homemaker chimes as she busily scrubs and cleans, "a woman's work is never done!" I wonder what in the world are you doing which takes all day to care for your home? The answer: among dozens of others things, they are polishing real silver silverware, ironing no-iron shirts, dusting endless knickknacks, weeding and trimming their ornate yard, and cooking gourmet dinners.
It took me a long time to realize that they are happy with their life. SJ homemakers enjoy finding things to do. They feel fulfilled in creating a wonderful home where family and friends can relax and enjoy themselves while they bustle around seeing to their every need.
Is this small glittering kingdom of order the only was to make a home? No, there are as many ways of homemaking as there are homes to make. An artistic person might have a simple home with lovely art objects and paintings. A more athletic woman might have a comfortable and tough furnishings; a place where you can "really live". As an INFJ (Introvert Intuitive Feeling Judging) my home is a place for me to recharge and reflect. It is very eclectic and simple, with a few graceful objects and soft pastel colors. An NT (Intuitive Thinking) might enjoy a spare modern environment, while an STJ (Sensing Thinking Judging) might want a very traditional decor. An Extrovert Feeling person might have a home where the laughter of friends and family rings happily and often.
Each personality type would approach homemaking in their own way. Each has their own gifts to give. Each makes a home in their own way with their own particular style.
It took me a long time to realize that they are happy with their life. SJ homemakers enjoy finding things to do. They feel fulfilled in creating a wonderful home where family and friends can relax and enjoy themselves while they bustle around seeing to their every need.
Is this small glittering kingdom of order the only was to make a home? No, there are as many ways of homemaking as there are homes to make. An artistic person might have a simple home with lovely art objects and paintings. A more athletic woman might have a comfortable and tough furnishings; a place where you can "really live". As an INFJ (Introvert Intuitive Feeling Judging) my home is a place for me to recharge and reflect. It is very eclectic and simple, with a few graceful objects and soft pastel colors. An NT (Intuitive Thinking) might enjoy a spare modern environment, while an STJ (Sensing Thinking Judging) might want a very traditional decor. An Extrovert Feeling person might have a home where the laughter of friends and family rings happily and often.
Each personality type would approach homemaking in their own way. Each has their own gifts to give. Each makes a home in their own way with their own particular style.
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
My ESFP Dad
What was my ESFP (Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceptive) dad like? He was fun! I remember his reading the funny papers to me, complete with all the voices. He played the ukulele, sang, danced, and drummed on every surface. When I was little, he gave me a Sugar Daddy lollypop whenever I went on an errand with him. With excited shouts of "Daddy's Home", my brother and I ran to greet my dad. He would swing me up on his shoulders and carry me around. He taught me to hike, pack, swim, dance, ride a bike, roller skate, canoe, do math, and drive a car.
Dad helped to give us fun birthday parties. He led the games and kept the excitement up. Once he had us play skunk tag where we were only safe if we hopped on one leg and held our nose. He made a tepee house for me of logs, a toy cabinet out of orange crates, and helped us make tents to play in. We didn't have just plain pancakes, but pancakes in the shape of swans, silver dollars, or Micky Mouse. He was creative and tried to amuse us. During the long stretches across the Nevada desert as we traveled from California to Idaho, he would make up Prospector stories to make the time go faster. When my grandpa was fishing and we had nothing to do, Dad would take us on a hike.
Dad helped to give us fun birthday parties. He led the games and kept the excitement up. Once he had us play skunk tag where we were only safe if we hopped on one leg and held our nose. He made a tepee house for me of logs, a toy cabinet out of orange crates, and helped us make tents to play in. We didn't have just plain pancakes, but pancakes in the shape of swans, silver dollars, or Micky Mouse. He was creative and tried to amuse us. During the long stretches across the Nevada desert as we traveled from California to Idaho, he would make up Prospector stories to make the time go faster. When my grandpa was fishing and we had nothing to do, Dad would take us on a hike.
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