Are Only SJ's True Homemakers?

"You can eat off my floor!", was obviously coined by the SJ (Sensing Judging) housewife. I don't know about you, but I've never had any desire to eat off of anyone's floor. Floors are for walking on - not eating. The SJ homemaker chimes as she busily scrubs and cleans, "a woman's work is never done!" I wonder what in the world are you doing which takes all day to care for your home? The answer: among dozens of others things, they are polishing real silver silverware, ironing no-iron shirts, dusting endless knickknacks, weeding and trimming their ornate yard, and cooking gourmet dinners.

It took me a long time to realize that they are happy with their life. SJ homemakers enjoy finding things to do. They feel fulfilled in creating a wonderful home where family and friends can relax and enjoy themselves while they bustle around seeing to their every need.

Is this small glittering kingdom of order the only was to make a home? No, there are as many ways of homemaking as there are homes to make. An artistic person might have a simple home with lovely art objects and paintings. A more athletic woman might have a comfortable and tough furnishings; a place where you can "really live". As an INFJ (Introvert Intuitive Feeling Judging) my home is a place for me to recharge and reflect. It is very eclectic and simple, with a few graceful objects and soft pastel colors.  An NT (Intuitive Thinking) might enjoy a spare modern environment, while an STJ (Sensing Thinking Judging) might want a very traditional decor. An Extrovert Feeling person might have a home where the laughter of friends and family rings happily and often.

Each personality type would approach homemaking in their own way. Each has their own gifts to give. Each makes a home in their own way with their own particular style.

Are ESFP's Irresponsible?

Well, if you ask their wives, they think so. I've known several ESFP (Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceptive) men who married SJ (sensing judging) women (my dad was one).  I've heard these men being called "lazy", "irresponsible", and "childish". They are admonished to "get going". One wife explained that ,"I made him a list. All he has to do is get it done, then cross it off.  It's that simple. Why doesn't he do it?"  The answer -- he doesn't want to.

ESFP's live to experience and enjoy life. To a J person who believes that work comes first (and sometimes last too),  this attitude is unfathomable.  SJ's (Sensing Judging) know what needs to be done and how to do it. These wives are sure who should get going -- their husband!

Once, a woman who has an SP husband was complaining to me that her husband didn't get things done. She sighed and wished she had a husband like mine who is a professional handyman (SJ). We talked about their life; about their long talks in the evenings, his joking and spontaneity, his playing with their children, his good cooking, his party giving, and his enthusiasm for life. I then looked her in the eye and slowly stated, "If you had my husband, he would be right on the job getting things done -- ALWAYS!  She listened, then her eyes got big, and she said, "OH!"

An Intuitive's Experience in a Sensing World

I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in California, went to Brigham Young University, got married, and had two small before I confronted "Mormon Culture". We had moved to a small bedroom community  and were enjoying have a home of our own. Then it began.  "How many quarts of peaches did you can?" I had made a brief foray into the world of canning, then after spending two days cleaning up my kitchen afterwards and ending up with only 30 cents worth of apple juice, I decided it wasn't for me. I was given sympathy for being too ill to do it and wishes for better health.

I felt intimidated when saw all the mothers busily running errands, cooking good dinners, baking cookies for school, gardening, and cleaning. Trying to fill a role I felt was expected of me, I tried doing these things only to conclude that I don't like that sort of life. I had loved being in college; attending lectures, studying, and writing papers. I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because I believed the principles were true, but what was all this? I hadn't signed on for this busy Mormon homemaker life. Yes, my health prevented me from this "busy" life, but I couldn't admit to others that I really didn't want to live as they did. I felt both shame and relief.

Poems Instead of Casseroles - Intuitives in a Busy World

  How does a creative intuitive person (I'm a INFJ) fit into the busy orderly world out there? We don't. We just sort of slip out of the main stream and make our own quiet little eddie. It's a great place. There is time to think, feel, enjoy life, and time to create beauty.

From my quiet spot, I watch others whizzing by. Though appreciating their accomplishments, I have no desire to be a part of this madly rushing main stream. Does this mean I have nothing to do with other people? How does a creative person still be a part of their society?

The Creative Homemaker - Intuitive Feeling People

 Stillness
by Cheryl Merrick

Focusing on the beauty around me
my racing heart 
stills,
and my anxious mind 
calms.

Gazing upward
into the canopy of branches,
peace fills my soul.      
                                          
I have always loved the story of the two sisters, Mary and Martha. When Martha complains to the Lord that Mary isn't helping enough with the housework, the Lord replies that Mary has chosen the better part. I see myself as a Mary.

Since I have no intention of ever becoming  a "busy little homemaker", is my home a mess? It is true that I don't weed, mow, vacuum, shampoo rugs or furniture, polish furniture or silverware, or "deep clean". I spend my day writing and love it. I also have major allergies and must have a dust and mold free home, and I do. My house is very clean and orderly. You may wonder how I can do this. It's really not that hard. I just decided to