The INFJ Thinker

 by Cheryl Merrick   

Using my "subconscious"

     consciously,

my experiences are arranged,

     in a blink of an eye,

     into relationships,

so that amazing patterns emerge

and profound meaning is revealed.

In the busy quiet of my mind,

feelings become dependable predictions,

and impressions solidify into principles,

so that, 

through the clear pure light of inspiration,

wise decisions can be made. 

I wrote this when I had collapsed, again, and I was trying to explain to my husband how essential  alone time is to my well being as a strong intuitive thinker (INFJ type). 

My perspective at 72 of being an INFJ

 

At nearly 72, I'm realizing that I don't need others to approve of me or understand me. I am an INFJ and finally accept that, except for others like me, most people are not capable of understanding what I say, much less who I am. 

I have changed my expectations and now feel a deep peace. I appreciate others for who they are, share what we can together, learn from them, and enjoy working together with them. 

I now accept my limitations. If I must interact socially, I'll relax for a long time before and after. I also compensate for the stress of having to do routine details or anything which requires me to work in thinking or sensing mode for a long time. Walking in nature, getting lost a good upbeat story, or doing a puzzle really relaxes me. 

Gently leading others by example is so much more peaceful than trying to push others to change. It is fulfilling to develop and share my talents to inspire others (I write on my blogs, paint, and do photography). Now, I just live what I believe to be right, and enjoy life. I am, finally, just being who I am, an INFJ.

Photo- me biking at Zion National Park a month ago. My first outing after recovering from stage 3 ovarian cancer

Balancing my life as an INFJ

My life as an INFJ (introverted Intuitive Ni; supported by extroverted Feeling Fe) has been a series of "Boom and Bust" cycles. Even as a kid, I would be exhausted by the end of a day at school and would recharge by immersing myself in a good fantasy book for most of the weekend.

Why all this stress? Why are INFJs the most stressed of all personality types? One of the main reasons is that we are so different from most people. Not only does this mean that others find it very difficult to understand INFJs, but also we do not easily fit in society since behavioral expectations are set by the most common personality types. This isn't us. Though there is still a lot of debate over whether extroverts out number introverts, most agree that extroverts range from 50% to 74% of the population. But regardless of the percentage, our society in the United States is dominantly extroverted (compare it to an Introvert culture such as Japan). Also, in our culture Sensors are about 75% of the population and Intutitivies are only 25% of our population.  Now consider that of the 25% who are Intutitivies, less than 6% (INFJs 1% and INFPs 4.4%) use their Intuition in an Introverted way supported by Feeling.

Understanding My INFJ Stress

I'm coming to understand why it is said that INFJ's (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging) have a higher level of stress than any other personality type. Also, I'm realizing that a balanced use of my functions, my abilities, is absolutely crucial for me to be able to avoid major stress and live a happier life. 

Like everyone else, I function best and utilize my talents best when I use my dominant, or greatest strength, to lead my life. It is the core of my self identity. For me, my dominant strength is Introverted Intuition. This means that my greatest strength is used in my mind flying to great heights in the "World of Imagination". This is a major challenge when you must spend so much of your time down on earth in the "Real World". There are only two personality types which prefer to use intuition in their minds as their dominant function: INFJ and INTJ (the second most stressed type).