by Cheryl Merrick
My Perspectives on Personality
Briggs-Myer Personality type and the Enneagram as it deals with fulfillment, stress, and relationships
Wednesday, September 14, 2022
The INFJ Thinker
Monday, April 11, 2022
INFJ's are Like Leaven
Many times I have felt rejected and wondered if I should keep sharing, then I realized that INFJ's are like leaven. Few people notice us or even have the capacity to understand what we are saying, but we make all the difference in the lump. We are often people of faith, vision, and hope, and as so, we must continue to hold up the light. Remember that He who you follow gave though He had little acceptance. Look to Him and look within. Follow the messages of your soul and keep sharing them through the power of music. As you "put them out there", the seekers will find them.
I wrote this several months ago to encourage a young INFJ songwriter.
My perspective at 72 of being an INFJ
At nearly 72, I'm realizing that I don't need others to approve of me or understand me. I am an INFJ and finally accept that, except for others like me, most people are not capable of understanding what I say, much less who I am.
I have changed my expectations and now feel a deep peace. I appreciate others for who they are, share what we can together, learn from them, and enjoy working together with them.
I now accept my limitations. If I must interact socially, I'll relax for a long time before and after. I also compensate for the stress of having to do routine details or anything which requires me to work in thinking or sensing mode for a long time. Walking in nature, getting lost a good upbeat story, or doing a puzzle really relaxes me.
Gently leading others by example is so much more peaceful than trying to push others to change. It is fulfilling to develop and share my talents to inspire others (I write on my blogs, paint, and do photography). Now, I just live what I believe to be right, and enjoy life. I am, finally, just being who I am, an INFJ.
Photo- me biking at Zion National Park a month ago. My first outing after recovering from stage 3 ovarian cancer
Tuesday, June 29, 2021
Expressing Anger as an INFJ
I grew up in a family where expressing anger or even any assertiveness was not acceptable, so I learned to suppress my anger and turn it inward which caused a lot of depression. I also used to let people "guilt" me into doing what they wanted which resulted in more anger and resentment toward them, which I also tried to suppress. One thing I felt guilty about was that I was "too sensitive", so I suppressed most of my feelings, including my anger.
Now that I am in my seventies, I more firmly stand up for my principles and my needs. Because, as an INFJ, I want to have a sense of peace and unity with people, I still tend to suppress anger, but not always. When I feel that someone else is being unjustly treated, especially when it is someone who is unable to defend themselves, such as a child or animal, I immediately speak up or take action. This isn't a burst of emotion, but rather a totally confident stand for what is right.
Generally though, I prefer not to have confrontations with other people. I am so empathic that it is very stressful for me engage in face to face disagreements with others. All that emotion is simply overwhelming to me. If I must say something, then I prefer to do it on my own turf by expressing my arguments logically in writing. I've found that more aggressive outgoing people have sometimes tried to intimidate me into accepting their ideas by speaking loudly, standing close, and/or repeating what they want over and over, but wrong is wrong no matter how loudly it is said. This is not how I communicate. I never debate or argue what I know is right. I just "know" it. It is not something determined by the "winner" who speaks the loudest, stands the closest, or can look down on their opponent. "Rightness" is something I just know. It is a part of me and any emotional, physical, or financial pressure can not change what I know is right, therefore I will not express anger, but will instead withdraw from any situation where others are trying to intimidate me into doing what they want.
Monday, February 15, 2021
INFJ lack of Reflection
all resumes as before.
Thursday, July 16, 2020
Things we can do to develop our abilities
- Look to the Future
- Try the Arts - study, sample different mediums, design
- Kindle the Spiritual- religion, seek meaning in life
- Study - learn about new things, research new ideas
- Engage in Problem Solving
- Brainstorm
- Try Creative Writing
- Read Fiction
- Travel and learn about other Cultures
- Do some Long Range Planning
- Think about Possibilities